Making The Good Life

It's not what you have, but how you live.

Archive for the tag “parent child relationships”

Catching Up

With everything that was happening with my dad this spring, I missed noting my son Alan’s birthday. It was a big one – he turned 16 on May 6.

I had always intended on having two, or maybe even three children. When my first child was born I was instantly in love, but I went through some difficult times – probably some undiagnosed postpartum depression, certainly a lot of angst over whether or not I would measure up as a mom. Naturally when considering a second child I had concerns too. Would I feel as intensely about him as I did his brother? Would I be able to give as much love and attention to two without making either one feel shortchanged?

What a treat he turned out to be! My second baby boy, cute as a button and just as firmly attached to my heart as his brother. He snuck up on me. I didn’t even have labor pains that day, just a quiet feeling that something was happening, and it most certainly was! I was a bit wiser and much more experienced, but the wave of love for my little boy still hit me every bit as hard.

Alan is in high school – intelligent, talented, strong-willed, and knows what he wants. He’s quiet when it comes to expressing his innermost thoughts and feelings, but willing to goof and be silly. This year, with his brother in college, our relationship has changed as well. We’re closer I think, we talk more, and he seems to have taken more firm control in his life. His future is bright with possibilities, and I’m excited to see what happens!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALAN!

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Not

Today is NOT Valentine’s Day. Not anymore – not, in fact, for the past 19 years. At the same time, it’s more the essence of Valentine’s Day for me than for many other people. It’s not about cards and flowers and candle light, although I’ve had those things each year (along with a heart-shaped cake). It absolutely IS all about love – the most amazing, consuming and lasting love that you could ever hope to experience in your life.

Nineteen years ago today my oldest child was born. Woke me up at 4:15 am and let me know that he was on his way. The moment his fuzzy little head pushed its way out into the world, my life changed in so many ways. I fell in love with that little boy so hard and so fast I hardly knew what hit me.

It’s been a great ride so far. He’s a college freshman now, and our relationship is changing. It’s a good one, and I’m really pleased with that. But it is changing, in the way that all successful parent-child relationships eventually need to change and grow so that they can become adult friendships. He’s responsible, kind, intelligent and knows what he wants in life. (He also still trashes his room and forgets to call when he’s supposed to.) He still needs mom sometimes (like when he was sick last week), but mostly he needs me to be his supporter, cheerleader, and only occasionally his trail guide. I’m proud of him, and can’t wait to see what the next 19 years will bring!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEY!

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