Making The Good Life

It's not what you have, but how you live.

Archive for the tag “motherhood”

Life Changes Some More

tunnelThe more things change, well, the more they change. Life just refuses to stand still, which I suppose is a good thing. SEVEN months ago or so, I wrote about my younger son’s imminent graduation from high school and an obsession with sugar in my diet.

Well, he graduated, was accepted to the school of his choice a couple of hours from home and moved into the dorm in August. He has had a successful and happy first semester at school. It was an adjustment, given that my older son moved into his own apartment in July for his senior year at his school. Neither one was home a lot aside from the holidays, as they have very busy schedules. Alan is at an art school studying theatrical set design and production. They spend a lot of class time in “crew”, which is building sets. They also spend a lot of evening and weekend time in crew, and loading in at the theatre, and working performances. Joey has his classes, the Glee Club (he’s an officer) and a couple of other clubs that he participates in and helps to run. He also has a part-time job during school for the first time. They are growing up and doing the things that they should do, and handling it well. I’m so very proud of them, and I miss them like mad sometimes!

I also mentioned some time back that I’m seeing a wonderful man who I love very much. Said wonderful man moved in with me over the holidays and we recently welcomed two of his daughters for their first weekend at Paula’s. The girls seem excited and I hope all will go well. We’re in the throes of making “my house” into “our house” and not making anyone feel crowded out in the process. This is uncharted territory for me, as it’s been nearly 12 years since I’ve lived with anyone besides my children.

I’ve had to sort through an attic space (which has been planned for some time) and a closet, as well as the many miscellaneous spaces that people share in a bedroom and house. I found six boxes of baby and toddler things in the attic that I am now washing, sorting and preparing for doshoesnation. They’re in surprisingly good condition considering their age! So at the same time that I’m moving forward in a wonderful way, I’m also immersed in the past. It’s an odd juxtaposition. Nearly grown boys moving on to a degree, and I’m folding the sleepers I used to dress them after their baths, the little overalls they wore and the tiny shoes I buckled onto their feet. It’s making my head spin.

As cliché as it is for this time of year, I need to clean up my diet, get back on the exercise train, and renew the focus on some personal goals that I’ve lost sight of a bit. I lost my mother suddenly in the spring of 2014, and while we were not as close as my dad and I were, it was still upsetting. She was healthy enough to go to the gym and mow the grass the day she died. It makes me want to do everything now, as none of us knows how much later there will be.

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Catching Up

With everything that was happening with my dad this spring, I missed noting my son Alan’s birthday. It was a big one – he turned 16 on May 6.

I had always intended on having two, or maybe even three children. When my first child was born I was instantly in love, but I went through some difficult times – probably some undiagnosed postpartum depression, certainly a lot of angst over whether or not I would measure up as a mom. Naturally when considering a second child I had concerns too. Would I feel as intensely about him as I did his brother? Would I be able to give as much love and attention to two without making either one feel shortchanged?

What a treat he turned out to be! My second baby boy, cute as a button and just as firmly attached to my heart as his brother. He snuck up on me. I didn’t even have labor pains that day, just a quiet feeling that something was happening, and it most certainly was! I was a bit wiser and much more experienced, but the wave of love for my little boy still hit me every bit as hard.

Alan is in high school – intelligent, talented, strong-willed, and knows what he wants. He’s quiet when it comes to expressing his innermost thoughts and feelings, but willing to goof and be silly. This year, with his brother in college, our relationship has changed as well. We’re closer I think, we talk more, and he seems to have taken more firm control in his life. His future is bright with possibilities, and I’m excited to see what happens!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALAN!

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