Making The Good Life

It's not what you have, but how you live.

Archive for the tag “midlife”

Life Changes Some More

tunnelThe more things change, well, the more they change. Life just refuses to stand still, which I suppose is a good thing. SEVEN months ago or so, I wrote about my younger son’s imminent graduation from high school and an obsession with sugar in my diet.

Well, he graduated, was accepted to the school of his choice a couple of hours from home and moved into the dorm in August. He has had a successful and happy first semester at school. It was an adjustment, given that my older son moved into his own apartment in July for his senior year at his school. Neither one was home a lot aside from the holidays, as they have very busy schedules. Alan is at an art school studying theatrical set design and production. They spend a lot of class time in “crew”, which is building sets. They also spend a lot of evening and weekend time in crew, and loading in at the theatre, and working performances. Joey has his classes, the Glee Club (he’s an officer) and a couple of other clubs that he participates in and helps to run. He also has a part-time job during school for the first time. They are growing up and doing the things that they should do, and handling it well. I’m so very proud of them, and I miss them like mad sometimes!

I also mentioned some time back that I’m seeing a wonderful man who I love very much. Said wonderful man moved in with me over the holidays and we recently welcomed two of his daughters for their first weekend at Paula’s. The girls seem excited and I hope all will go well. We’re in the throes of making “my house” into “our house” and not making anyone feel crowded out in the process. This is uncharted territory for me, as it’s been nearly 12 years since I’ve lived with anyone besides my children.

I’ve had to sort through an attic space (which has been planned for some time) and a closet, as well as the many miscellaneous spaces that people share in a bedroom and house. I found six boxes of baby and toddler things in the attic that I am now washing, sorting and preparing for doshoesnation. They’re in surprisingly good condition considering their age! So at the same time that I’m moving forward in a wonderful way, I’m also immersed in the past. It’s an odd juxtaposition. Nearly grown boys moving on to a degree, and I’m folding the sleepers I used to dress them after their baths, the little overalls they wore and the tiny shoes I buckled onto their feet. It’s making my head spin.

As cliché as it is for this time of year, I need to clean up my diet, get back on the exercise train, and renew the focus on some personal goals that I’ve lost sight of a bit. I lost my mother suddenly in the spring of 2014, and while we were not as close as my dad and I were, it was still upsetting. She was healthy enough to go to the gym and mow the grass the day she died. It makes me want to do everything now, as none of us knows how much later there will be.

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Back to the Beginning

When I started this blog, I intended to write about aging gracefully, healthfully and with acceptance. By acceptance I mean not giving up to the inevitability of poor health and infirmity that we so often see in our elder population, but acceptance of the unchangeable fact that I am aging. I have probably been alive for more years than I have left; I have passed my halfway point. This blog is about how I want to live what I have left.

I got derailed right away by my dad’s death. I haven’t felt like writing and indeed didn’t feel that I had anything to say. What can you say after watching an incurable disease steal what should have been a healthy and productive period in someone’s life? He had no heart disease, no diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. He should have been with us for a long time.

But with a little bit of time and distance I’ve been able to look at things differently. He gave me a great genetic inheritance (in addition to all of the other lovely intangible things about being his daughter). What can I do to make the most of it?

So, I am going forward. Some of the resources I’ve been looking at are:

YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty, Michael F. Roizen MD and Mehmet C. Oz, MD.

While I totally feel a little bit like Dr. Oz has become far too commercial and unreliable recently, I do really like the content of this book. It makes sense, and is presented in his typical humorous style. Dr. Roizen is the co-creator of the RealAge concept and author of the best-selling book of the same name.

The RealAge Makeover: Take Years off Your Looks and Add Them to Your Life, Michael F. Roizen MD.

Dr. Andrew Weil on aging gracefully. I watched a video, available on Netflix, called Dr. Andrew Weil: Healthy Aging. It had a profound impact on how I’ve been thinking about aging.

There are more, and I’ll share them later. Some are more fun, light hearted, and vain, others are serious and educational.

What Dr. Weil, Drs. Oz and Roizen and I have in common is the belief in (maybe hope for, in my case) the ability to age well and remain healthy and active well into the senior years, with decline and infirmity happening only very near the end of life. They call it “compression of morbidity”. That just means that you live your senior years in reasonably good health, with a sharp dropoff at the end rather than the constant decline and years of poor health that so often happens.

What does that mean for you and me? It means you can live in your home if you want to, not in an assisted living facility. That you can continue to participate in life and the lives of those you love. That you can work, if you want to, or volunteer if you want to, go to grandchildren’s graduations and weddings, travel, garden, have lunch with friends…really anything you want to do.

How do we get there? From what I can learn, it seems simple and straightforward (on paper):

  • Keep your weight down, in the healthy BMI range
  • Eat a good diet (more later)
  • Stay active, and I don’t mean just taking the stairs
  • Control your stress
  • Maintain some kind of social life
  • Control inflammation (LOTS more on this later)

We all know that it’s harder in actual practice than it looks on paper, of course! And I’m only 49 – why worry about 70 or 80 now? You already know the answer to that. The sooner you start, the better the result. I’ve already got a head start on weight and diet – I’m 126 pounds and I’ve had an interest in healthy eating for a long time. My views have evolved some over time and will probably continue to do so.

I’m concentrating on more physical activity, fine tuning my diet, stress management (really needed right now) and my finances in preparation for retirement. I may never fully retire, but I’d like to choose whether and how I work, and not be forced to greet shoppers at WalMart.

I’ll talk more about each in the coming weeks. Until then, how do you feel about aging? Are you ready for a healthy old age? If not, are you willing to change?

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